Learning the Secret of Contentment
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Joel Brooks:have a bible, I invite you to turn to Philippians chapter 4. We are actually finishing our study in in Philippians this week. I hope that it has been beneficial to you. I have loved walking through this letter. I think it's been very timely for us as a church and as a culture.
Joel Brooks:So Philippians chapter 4, we'll begin reading in verse 10. I rejoiced in the lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound.
Joel Brooks:In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble and you Philippians yourselves know that in the beginning of the gospel, when I left Macedonia, no church entered into partnership with me in giving and receiving except you only. Even in Thesalonica, you sent me help for my needs once and again. Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that increases to your credit.
Joel Brooks:I have received full payment and more. I am well supplied. Having received from Epaphroditus the gift you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God, And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and father be glory forever and ever. Amen.
Joel Brooks:Greet every saint in Christ Jesus. The brothers who are with me greet you. All the saints greet you, especially those of Caesar's household. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. This is the word of the Lord.
Joel Brooks:Pray with me. Father, as we ask every week, we pray that through your spirit, you would open up our hearts and mind to receive your very word. And like we read earlier, your word would go forth and accomplish your purpose. I pray that my words would fall to the ground and blow away and not be remembered anymore, but lord, may your words remain and may they change us. And we pray this in the strong name of Jesus.
Joel Brooks:Amen. So as Paul is coming to the end of his letter, he takes time to thank the Philippians for the gift that they had just sent him. In some ways, Philippians is really just a long thank you note. Now remember Paul is in prison and in this day in order to you know add insult to injury, when you were a prisoner, you actually had to pay for your accommodations. So he had to pay for the room he was in in prison and he had to pay for his meals.
Joel Brooks:So Paul really needed help and he was just overcome with thankfulness and joy when Epaphroditus, when he walked through those prison doors and gave him that financial support from the Philippian Church. This really is kind of the theme that we see throughout the letter which is, being comforted in it and receiving joy even in the midst of suffering. Being thankful for God, how he meets us in those places and how he provides for us during those times. We're to rejoice always. As I was thinking about this this week, I began to think of how God actually has designed us as humans, with a hint of how we're supposed to really rejoice always.
Joel Brooks:And it's this, he designed us in such a way that we weep both during our deepest sorrows and during our deepest joys. We weep in both. Think about it, the times in your life when you have suffered loss and I mean a real loss, you've you've lost someone you love, you lost a relationship, or something you've worked really hard for, likely during that moment, you wept. I I don't know why we do this, I have no idea why God designed that we would have during these times some kind of, you know, salty wet discharge come out of our eyes during sorrowful moments, but He designed us this way. And at the same time, we weep during our deepest joys.
Joel Brooks:I'm not talking about crying just during happy moments like, you know, when your football team wins or you know, after you've had a really good meal and you're happy, I'm talking about deep deep joys. I see it all the times at weddings when he got the most manly man you can imagine next to me, but the moment he sees his bride walking down that aisle, he is reduced to just, you know, a bunch of sobbing tears, Or you see it when a child is first given to her mom after being born and that mother burst into tears. I think there's something really profound about this that we cry both at our deepest sorrows and our deepest joys. And I believe the reason we do so is because in those moments we experience the nearness of God in a unique way. We realize God is with us during our hurts and those happy happy moments.
Joel Brooks:He's with us. This is what Wow. It's a beautiful falcon. Paul's been talking about these moments all throughout his letter. He's experienced God's presence in His lowest moments like being in prison chained up to guards, and he's experienced God's presence during his happiest moments.
Joel Brooks:He's experienced God when he's been brought low and when he's been brought high, and as a result of this because God has had him by the hand during all those times, he's been able to rejoice rejoice always. And Paul would not swap those highs or those lows for anything because God has been with him. But this is something that we have to learn, we have to learn how to rejoice in these times and that's how Paul ends his letters. Paul wasn't given the ability to rejoice, he never says that. He wasn't given the ability to be content.
Joel Brooks:Twice in this closing section, he says these were things he had to learn, that he learned contentment. He he learned it likely, you know, through the studying of God's word. He learned it through prayer, but he most certainly learned it through experience. God himself had to walk him through the highs and the lows, holding his hand in order to bring with him the joy that only came from his presence. So what I thought we would do knowing that we learn through experience, what I thought we would do is we close out Philippians is I would actually ask some of our dear friends to come up here and they would share with us how they have been learning to have joy, how they have been learning to have contentment during some very high and some very low seasons in their life.
Joel Brooks:And so, Dwight and Stephanie, would you come on up here? Dwight, is the pastor of missions at our church, his wife Stephanie Castle. Alright. Thank you all so much for being willing to do this. So, the 2 of you have been through a whole lot over the last, you know, about 6 months or so.
Joel Brooks:And, probably a lot of people here aren't aware of this. And so first, could you just kind of walk us through what has been happening with you, and then what you have been learning, how God has been teaching these things to you through this experience.
Speaker 3:Yes. So back in September, Dwight and I found out that we were pregnant. The next month, we went in for our 8 week ultrasound. And, as the tech was putting the jelly on my stomach, I joked with her, she asked, how how are you feeling? I was like, well, I dreamed last night that I was having conjoined twins.
Speaker 3:So as long as that's not the case, we're we're good. And few minutes later, 2 heartbeats, panic kinda went through both of both of our minds, bodies. We already have 3 children at home, and we we were not going for 5. We were we were going for 4. So, it was a shock to say the least.
Speaker 3:Then the doctor came in and explained that the babies were actually in the same sack, which meant it was a high risk pregnancy. There were a lot of risks. She made it sound like there was probably a potential for a lot of loss as well, and conjoined twins was a possibility. Although, she assured me my dream did not change the statistics, it is very rare. So, we left that appointment, just, I mean, devastated.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Just it was a hard hard time. A month later, we we were referred to some specialists at UAB. And so a month later, we went there, and our worst fear was confirmed that we were having conjoined twins. They also told us all the different possibilities, the risks, and, asked us if we wanted to continue with the pregnancy, which, of course, we said we said yes.
Speaker 3:And then we we went every couple weeks from there, hoping to learn more information, not always learning more information. It's like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. And then we, I guess yeah. We we knew that one of the babies had a potential heart condition. They did have separate hearts, which was a huge answer to prayer.
Speaker 3:They're they're conjoined in the, like, abdomen, chest area. And so separate hearts was our biggest prayer from the beginning, and God answered that prayer in big ways slowly over months. And then we were referred to children's of, Hospital of Philadelphia because they specialize in this. And we went there last month and came out of it with really good news. The doctors were very encouraged.
Speaker 3:The heart condition that we thought, one of the babies had, she does not. And so that was a miracle. I wish I had time to go into it. And we we found out that they can be separated, that they share a liver, and that's the only major organ, and they gave us hopeful news. So from here, we we go back up there in about two and a half weeks, birth probably in the next month or so.
Speaker 3:Hopefully, we can bring them home. Hopefully, they'll be healthy and get strong, and then we'll go back up there to Philadelphia once they're big and strong for the surgery process. So I think we we are looking at living in Philadelphia for probably half of the year, which is hard, but God has been good. And so if I could say what what I've been learning, Going into this pregnancy, there was a lot of fear. We have experienced some hard things, especially in the area of growing our family in recent years.
Speaker 3:Had a miscarriage, dealt with infertility for a little over a year, and then we had a a really difficult situation with a foster child, just an abrupt ending to a very long relationship. And it left us questioning God's goodness and and where is he in all this and and and kind of dictating the future for ourselves. Like, well, this is how it's happened in the past, so this is how it's gonna happen. This is this is gonna be terrible. It's you know, we're gonna lose these babies and the worst case.
Speaker 3:But in that first, like, 24 to 48 hours, the lord was so kind to speak to me and ask me hard questions, kinda similar to, like, how he asked Job. But, like, questions of, well, why do I have to act in the way that you think I have to act? And why does your past and what's happened in the future or in the past, why does that mean that this is how I'm gonna act in the in the future? Like, I could just as easily work a miracle in this. And and he allowed something to shift in my mind
Joel Brooks:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:That gave me just an undescribable hope and optimism and joy in a situation that I shouldn't feel those things, and that's not my normal disposition just in everyday life. So the fact that I have had that has totally been from him. Dwight might wanna add more to that. Yeah. Yeah.
Joel Brooks:That's great. Paul says that he he learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, of abundance in need. He's talking about a lot of just high ups and some deep lows there, in which I'm imagining Paul doesn't talk about this, but this gotta, you know, put your emotions through a blender at this time, just constantly up and down. Is this something that you have experienced? And if so, what have you learned through that?
Speaker 3:I'm gonna let Dwight speak to this because it's been pretty remarkable, just how the Lord has been working in both of our lives in all in very different ways, but equally faithful and good.
Speaker 4:Yeah. The Lord's been kind to give us each other. It's been a bit of a reversal of roles from what would maybe normally happen. I like to think that I'm, pretty strong normally, but I've been a disaster during this entire thing, and my wife has been a rock. And that's just of the Lord.
Speaker 4:It's been kind to people going through the same thing, having very different experiences with this. I I did not have that hopefulness that Stephanie kinda got at the beginning. That was not how I've approached this. I'm I'm we're different personalities anyway. I'm a very deep kinda thinker and processor and thinking about things kind of philosophically and theologically as a pastor.
Speaker 4:Like, what does all this mean about God, and is God good? How can this be good? Why didn't God do a different good thing? All kinds of questions. It's been it's been very hard for me, to process that, and I think I've really found, in this suffering that what I've been faced with is what probably all of us at different times and ways are faced with is that suffering really makes us take what we say we believe and what we what we do believe, but it's it's being tested and refined.
Speaker 4:And God helps us to understand how we actually believe that in the moment of really needing it. I think I've I've discovered that there's this real tension between lament and hope that I find myself just going back and forth between, not just daily, but moment by moment. Sometimes, I feel a little bit schizophrenic, saying this is not how it's supposed to be. This is so broken. Sin has messed up so many things in the world that we can look around and just say, this is not right.
Speaker 4:And just mourning that, mourning the loss of what I thought my life was gonna look like, but also holding up the fact that God is sovereign over this and that I do believe that somehow he's good over this. It doesn't make any sense to me in this moment, but that I believe that to be true. So holding up total lamenting brokenness and holding up hopefulness, the Bible says we do grieve as Christians, but we don't grieve as those without hope. So I think that back and forth between despair and faith is something that I've really wrestled with. And I think realizing that actually in those moments, coming to God with those things is actually encouraged.
Speaker 4:I think there's a scriptural, biblical precedent for this. I mean, we see it in characters like Job. Stephanie mentioned he laments to the Lord for 30 plus chapters straight. We see it in the Psalms. There's all kinds of Psalms just crying out to the Lord in suffering.
Speaker 4:I think we see it in Paul as he talks about struggling with his anxieties and his thorn in the flesh and so many trials and hardships. I think Jesus himself in the garden before his death calls out to his father with blood sweat and asks God to take the cup from him, and yet he resigns himself to God's goodwill and still looks to him as father. And so I think this godward direction of the struggling process has kinda been something I've been learning, that it's okay and even necessary and important to grieve, but it's also important to grieve to God, and to see that somehow he he is meeting us in that grief. Mhmm. I'll I'll pause there maybe.
Joel Brooks:Yeah. That's great. Thank you, Troy. So Paul in the the text we just read, he gives one of his more memorable lines, Philippians 413. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, which most people, you know, they think it's I can do all things through any verse taken out of context.
Joel Brooks:At least that's how we have seen it interpreted in our culture. You know, the the Tim Tebow's of the world. You know, we have the the Philippians 413. It means God's gonna give me a great, you know, athletic ability or I can overcome any challenge, and that's not at all what Paul's talking about here. He's he's talking about a road of suffering, or when you have a lot or when you suffer.
Joel Brooks:What is that verse meant to you as you've been processing this?
Speaker 3:I I can speak to this because, me specifically, but our mentality going into, this pregnancy, I guess, wondering, like, do do we want a 4th kid? Can we handle a 4th kid? And for better or worse, don't do what I did, but, for better or worse, I I just was praying to the lord. Okay. If you want this to happen, then make it happen.
Speaker 3:Like, if if we can if I can handle 4 kids, then you'll give me 4 kids. And if not, great. We're we're good. We love our 3 children that we have. And so to come into it with the mentality of, like, if I can handle it, is just hilarious now because I cannot handle, 5 kids.
Speaker 3:I cannot handle well, I I can't handle 3 kids, but I can't handle 5 kids, and I definitely can't handle conjoined twins. So, yeah, just to think that I ever could is is funny to me, but also just so kind of the lord to show me that that it's not about me and it's not about what I can and cannot do. When we started the Philippian study, I did the I'm doing the the bible study at home that goes along with the series. And the 1st week, we read through all of Philippians, And I got to 413, and it's just one of those verses that you memorize as a kid, and it's just so familiar. But it had new meaning to me because I realized I'm I'm doing this, but it's not because I'm strong enough.
Speaker 3:It's because God is is giving me new mercies every morning, and he is sustaining me. And it's just in his kindness, he has shown me and he has given me the hope that in the future, as as scary as it looks and as just overwhelming as it is when I when I sit and think about it, being able to have that discomfort and knowing he's been with me this far. He's gonna continue to be with me. So, yeah, I'll let Dwight add to that.
Speaker 4:Yeah. On the note of what we can handle, when Stephanie and I were dating, we shared with each other our deepest fears in life, and I confided in her that I think the hardest thing in life for me would be to have children with some sort of special needs, that that would just be a very hard thing for my heart to handle. And the Lord has given me a double portion of that in some sense. The day that, we found out the news, I went to Joel's porch, and he asked me, what's your worst fear? And I said, well, this is extremely unlikely, but conjoined twins would be it.
Speaker 4:That would be disaster. The day after, we found out that they were conjoined, I went on a bike ride, by myself to wrestle with the Lord. I should have realized how that story ends when someone wrestled with the Lord in scripture because God threw me down. I had my first cycling accident ever, and I broke my wrist, and I was unable to exercise for about 3 months, which is kinda my outlet in life, and I felt like God had taken everything away from me. I remember probably a little dramatically saying to some people, my life is over.
Speaker 4:I feel whoever's laughing. How dare you? I I said, that's it. That's it. It's over, And I realized I was so far beyond my capacity to handle anything.
Speaker 4:Paul kinda says something like this in second Corinthians. He says he's so utterly of life itself. He was so burdened beyond what he could handle that he despaired of life itself, and I can relate to that. That's what it's felt like. And I think in those moments to realize, oh, I'm still upright.
Speaker 4:Day to day, God has given me exactly what we've needed and sometimes in really miraculous ways. I wish I could tell you story by story already of how God has answered our prayers, met our needs. And some days, it feels like just barely, just barely. I can't say much of anything else other than I'm upright today. And he woke me up the next morning, and there's new mercies.
Speaker 4:And I think that's what it kinda feels like to realize that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me is he's gonna give us what we need in that moment, mercy for that day, for that moment. And when he says, don't be anxious about anything. I think if I'm honest, I feel anxious about everything, and I just take that to the lord in complete and total desperation, and then god grows my faith and meets us in our need in that moment. We have been dealt a hand that seems really a bitter hand, and God has met us every single step of the way so far. He has given us more than we deserve for sure, and he's met us where we are.
Speaker 4:So I think the combination of all those things coming together.
Joel Brooks:Yeah. Thank you.
Speaker 4:Paul, after
Joel Brooks:he, you know, he talks about he could do all things through Christ who strengthens him, he goes on to really thank the Philippians for how they have come alongside him to help share, in his sufferings, how they've partnered with him just during a tremendous time of need. And could you speak into that? Have you seen, the Lord use the church, use Christians to come alongside you to help you during this time?
Speaker 4:Absolutely. Goodness. How much time do we have? About 2 hours?
Joel Brooks:That's up to them.
Speaker 4:2 hours. There have been many days where I have kinda echoed some of those Psalms and said, god, where are you? Wake up. I don't feel you. I don't see you.
Speaker 4:I don't understand how this is good. And, you know, we teach our children, God is spirit, so it's hard to see him. It's hard to feel his presence, especially in suffering. One thing that we have never had a lack of is God's people, his body, which is his presence with us. God's spirit is with us, and we've been encouraged in tremendous ways.
Speaker 4:But his people, as a ministry of himself to us, has never been lacking, and it has been unbelievable. You know, we say here at church a lot that, like, you know, worship is awesome when we come together. Some of us are hurting, some are strong, and when we feel weak, others are strong, but we have experienced that. I remember one particular time when we had just learned the news, and we sat down with some really dear friends. And we were just telling him, God is he he's given us bad things, and we can't imagine and envision anything good.
Speaker 4:We can't even believe that he could separate these girls. It's hard for us to believe that he would do something so good. I can't I just said, I can't I can't believe it. I can't. And our friend looked at us in the eye and said, that's okay.
Speaker 4:We believe for you. And who is so powerful, it stuck with me. It actually reminds me of in Mark 2 when the paralytic was lowered from the roof by his friends because he couldn't get to Jesus on his own. And it says that Jesus saw their faith and healed him. Now I have no idea theologically what to do with that.
Speaker 4:We're not gonna dive into that right now. But, the faith of the body on our behalf, the comfort, the presence of Christ And there are times in suffering if anyone everyone here is going through suffering now or at some point in different ways, and you can be tempted to isolate. There's been a desire. I think the enemy's really, tempted us at times to just draw within ourself, have a pity party. No one understands.
Speaker 4:It's easier to just avoid people than to talk to people, and we would have missed out tremendously. The community that has gathered around us has been so life giving. It's hard to describe. And the ways that we've already been provided for even in this past week is people have donated financially to us. People have brought us meals, have babysat for us.
Speaker 4:I've just wept. I wept. I saw someone give $21 to us, and I saw someone give an unbelievably large amount of money to us. And I wept both times because that is the body who has cared for us. And so I think I would just encourage anyone who is walking through suffering, dig into the body, be honest, ask for help, let the body serve you, and now we're gonna have to have some of our own medicine.
Speaker 4:Thank you to each of you. There are so many of you I'll never get to thank individually who've already cared for us in so many ways. It's life to us. Thank you.
Joel Brooks:I thought we would take time to pray for Dwight and Stephanie. And so what I'd ask is, for those of you who are, you know, friends with them who wanna come forward. I know we can't have the entire church. So but if you would like to come up here and, and pray with me for them, I invite you in this time to come on. John Boy, pray with me.
Joel Brooks:Father, we thank you for our dear brother and sister here. We love them immensely. I've known Dwight for a long long time and he has just been a dear friend and brother and he has spoken into me many times. Lord, I pray that now he would feel the prayers of your church or the friends that are gathered around them. Lord Jesus, we do this because we do believe that you are lord over all.
Joel Brooks:We do believe that you can heal. We believe that you love us immensely, and I pray that Dwight and Stephanie would believe that with their whole heart. We do pray for healing for these, 2 girls. We pray that the delivery would go well that they would be able to be separated, that they would go on to live normal and glorious lives, and that this will be a time that we can all look back on with tremendous thankfulness and praise. Lord, I know every day has its unique challenges and, it's hard to think a long time ahead.
Joel Brooks:Give them the grace and the strength they need every day. Or day by day would you hold their hand and walk with them in the many weeks months ahead of challenges, and I pray that you would provide for them, that you would meet their every need. So, lord, we love them, we entrust them to your care, and we look forward, to hearing the good reports to come. Thank you, Jesus, and we pray this in your name. Amen.
Joel Brooks:Thank you guys.
